Vacation

I'm on vacation right now. We've been in New Jersey at the Jersey Shore and am now in Long Island, New York in the Hamptons. This vacation has been many things, but most of all, it was much needed. If you asked me on Friday, June 25, I would've said I didn't even want to go...and I didn't. And I said that. "I don't want to go on vacation." My mom said, "Lindsay, you've got to. It'll be good for you. You need to clear your head about all of the Ellie stuff and just relax. You deserve it." Sure, I smiled and nodded but what was I thinking? Whatever, mom, I don't want to go.

From the minute we arrived, though, I knew that she was right. This vacation has been stressful, chaotic, crazy, sad, emotional but it's also been wonderful. I am so glad I had the chance to see Hayden, my best friend who moved away two years ago. We had a blast together at the Jersey Shore. I love her and missed her so much! It was great seeing her.

I let two balloons go on the beach for Ellie...an "I love you" balloon and a "Hannah Montana" one. Not a second goes by that I don't think of our precious Ellie, but now they go by with a smile more often than a tear. Ellie's life had a purpose. She changed me, forever, and I thank her for everything good in me. I love her, and I miss her but thank the good Lord she is no longer in pain. Like she said in her video, "No chemo, no nothing, just relaxing [on the beach]." Now, the beach is replaced with a Heavenly beach...the best kind.