Hey, Ellie

A man named Dusty Hughes wrote a song for Ellie called "Hey, Ellie" and it's absolutely beautiful. It was played today at Ellie's funeral/Celebration of Life and it was really, really nice, though the people who sung it were nowhere near as good as Dusty Hughes. Wish he could have been here for it.

Last night was Ellie's viewing. I wore a coral shirt and a black skirt. When you walked in the doors, the first thing you saw was that breathtaking picture of Ellie that is the main photo on caringbridge (caringbridge.org/visit/elliepotvin). It honestly just took my breath away. They were handing out little pink ribbons twisted into a cancer ribbon, that had little butterflies on them in honor of Ellie. We waited in the line until we reached Amy and Tim. There were two TVs that had a slideshow of Ellie playing. I lost it while watching that. I clung to Holly's hand and just...cried. Cried for me because I missed Ellie, cried for Ellie because she's gone, cried for Grace because she lost her twin sister, cried for Amy because she lost her precious baby, cried for Tim because he lost his little girl, cried for all of Ellie's friends who loved it, cried for Ellie some more because cancer is so cruel. Finally, we reached Amy who looked stunning in her pink dress (she always looks gorgeous). Holly and I were rather upset at this point, and Amy pulled us into a hug and she said, "I love you girls, so much" and rubbed my hair to calm me down and rubbed Holly's back to calm her down. At that moment, I just couldn't believe it. Amy, the woman who just lost her daughter, was comforting me, a friend. She has amazing strength. She then said something I will never forget. She said, "Girls, what you have done for my baby made a difference. It really did. If I had the time tomorrow at the celebration to speak about all those who have helped and changed Ellie's life, you two would top the list."

We then moved on to Tim, and the rest of the family. Ellie was between the two families. She was laying there, one hand on top of the other. Her head was covered in very short hair. They had put some lip gloss on her. She had a teddy bear in her hand, and her cross next to her, and her favorite pink converse above her.

Leaving her was the hardest thing that I've ever done. I kept telling myself, "Lindsay, that is not Ellie! That's Ellie body. Ellie is happy, she's looking down on you now" but leaving how I viewed Ellie for all this time was still, very very difficult. I am so glad that we saw her, though.

Today's funeral was much more peaceful for me. I still shed many tears and was very sad, but it was a sense of closure. Amy and Tim had amazing strength as they spoke. Amy shared more about Ellie's last moments, about the Ellie she knew and loved...Tim thanked some doctors, and their families. It was beautiful. The music was lovely and the program is precious. Ellie would love it! We then let off some balloons afterwards at 1 o'clock. Amy yelled,

"FLY BABY, FLY!"

Fly Ellie, Fly. I love you.