God's Golden Glitter

On Friday, "our" Ellie had a CAT scan. And the growth was tremendous. She now has more than 40 lung tumors ... one the size of a golf ball. They also had a healing prayer service for Ellie. After it was over, Ellie's head and hands were covered in golden glitter. Amy asked Ellie countless times, "Ellie, are you sure you didn't play with glitter?" and Ellie's answer was always the same, "No, mom, I don't even have any glitter!". Everyone else at the service was shocked to look down at their own hands and see golden glitter on them, too. This is called God's Golden Glitter and Ellie isn't the first person it has happened to. The glitter shows God's presence and majesty ... that He alone is in control but that He has plans to prosper and protect us always.

Please continue to keep Ellie in your prayers.

Smile

Kids are so carefree...it inspires adults and big kids/young adults to be the same. A child could get the worst news that they think they could possibly get, and still be able to smile. When you think about how many times a day you just smile or laugh, it's a lot but are you truly happy?

I could say that most days I am happy but of course I have by bad days, my sad days. But what are my "sad days" compared to those of some others who have it way worse than I? I've been watching a lot of memorial videos for babies on YouTube and they break my heart...many of the children have been stillborn and some have had complications prior to birth. I got to thinking, "Why am I so drawn to watching these videos?" They really do make me very sad, but they put my life into perspective. As I'm pouring tears over precious baby Ella who was stillborn or over little Haylee who drowned, all of my cares go away.

And that sounds incredibly selfish. Who uses other people's sorrows to take away their own? It sounds absolutely awful, disgusting. But it goes way deeper than that. I don't do it to make myself feel better, I do it sometimes to cry, sometimes, yes, to put my own life into perspective. When you view the stories of children with cancer or parents who have lost a child, you cling even tighter onto your own family and realize that hey, Life is good. You may have had hard times and troubles and yeah, I have had hard times of my own...

...but just smile. You have so much to be thankful for. Even if you have had terrible tragedy in your life, look for the good. Strive to find the happiness in the smaller things, like a child.

Blog Makeover!

I've pretty much been spending this entire afternoon giving my blog a makeover, which isn't even a big deal to anyone because I don't think anyone reads this...but it's therapeutic and important for me to write down all my thoughts, plus I want to look back on this and be able to remember all of this special memories.

So, lots has been going on lately. The nonprofit is somewhat in the process of being set up. Because the attorney pretty much bailed on us (thank you, Brad) we are going forward on our own registering Butterfly Kisses Carebaskets Incorporated as a corporation in North Carolina pretty much on our own. We're using Legal Zoom which is actually quite helpful. Hol and I just need to get in contact with the support guy there, Steve, so he can help us fill in a few of the blanks that we don't understand. The good news is that North Carolina has no laws for the age of directors of nonprofit organizations - which means that the organization can officially be in the names of Holly and I. That's super important to us because this is our thing. All expenses are going to be paid by us and we're doing this on our own by choice.

Once we finally have it set up as a corporation, the next step is to obtain a federal tax ID #. Then there are several more steps, but we're going to really get down to business and hope to have it start soon. Meanwhile, if any of you know of any children in NC who are battling any type of terminal illness or condition, please let me know with name and info. Thanks.

The Future.

I love to think about the future because a lot of times I feel like I am an adult stuck in a child's body. I feel like I am lightbeyond most people my age besides those few people that I am especially close with.




I am really looking forward to my future. I'm looking forward to all of the guys growing up and for them to start acting like real men, rather than jerks. I'm looking forward to college, and getting married and starting a family. I'm looking forward to being a nurse midwife. Many people doubt that I'll actually become a nurse midwife but I've wanted it for so long...since age 4 I've said that I would be a "baby nurse". I hope that I do. I'm sure that I will.




At the bottom here, I just wanted to post a little dedication or whatever to Holly. Holly is my best friend here in Charlotte. She is one of the few people here who I actually feel is as mature as I am (and I promise, I'm not trying to sound boastful). Holly and I have shared so much! We laugh hysterically, have deep conversations and prefer to read MckMama's (mckmama.com) blog instead of attending the latest 'rave party'. Yes, we're insanely cool.